We saw Damon Wayans Jr & Vincent Oshana Last Night!!

We have a new comedy club here in town! Hijinx-www.hijinxcomedyclub.com. The radio station had Vincent Oshana & Damon Wayans Jr on the morning show. They were cracking me up on the way to work. I thought...man I want to go to that show so bad! I talked Chris into going & it was so funny! I have to share some of the jokes...of course you would have to see them to really get the jist, but here is a couple of the things they joked about.

Vincent Oshana~

He said that he was stationed in Great Falls, MT. Chris mentioned that we don't offer information to comics cause yeah you will be a part of the joke...so we didn't clap or raise our hand that we were from there... Anyway he said his boss took him hunting for the 1st time. He said that he didn't consider hunting a sport because usually when a sport is being played both teams know they are playing. He said hunting is like someone tackling into him on the sidewalk and him asking them why they tackled him & them saying, "We were playing football!" haha He said that he felt like a pervert when he had to do the mating calls for the deer. LOL! I laughed so hard! He would make an elk call & then he would say what it meant in human language LOL! It was really funny! Then he said that 3 elk come into the field looking for this female expecting to get some & then BOOM! The biggest one gets shot & he couldn't believe the look on the elk's face...complete shock that he was shot! Then he makes it like the other 2 leave (and he acts out the jump & run) and he says they go back to the group & say that the other one got shot by a tree with sneakers (cause he looked like a tree with sneakers on LOL). Then he put it like if that were to happen to a human male. The guy watching tv & getting a phone call with some girl saying some things to him & then him making it like he just has to check something outside. Going outside to peek & see if the girl is there & then BOOM! He is shot...looking confused around he sees a fence with hooves shot him & it ends up being the deer getting him back for his friend. Oh man you just have to see it to get the whole idea, but I was cracking up!
Then he said that he went to Toys R Us with his sister & her daughter. He said that he bought his niece $100 worth of stuff...then as they were leaving his niece begged to get the Hannah Montana's whole outfit & stuff & his sister told her no & that she should be grateful for getting the $100 in stuff. Then he said his niece got adult & said, "I am not leaving Toys R Us until you buy that for me!" And he said his sister said, "Oh ok you are gonna stay here?" Then she told him to come with her & go & he was like, "really?" And she said, "yeah just watch this..." He said they got in her truck & she drove to the end of the parking lot. Then he said that his niece came out 2 minutes later & had this look of shock that she couldn't find her mom. Then he said she went to the actual spot that they had parked & saw they were gone & he said it was like Platoon when the guy realized his troop left him & she threw her arms up & was crying... then he said all the white people came out of the woodwork, some repelled off the building, some parachuted in...and he said this one lady was hugging her. He said a Mexican was walking by with his 3 kids & the kids were all shy and they asked their dad what was wrong & he said, "That's what happens when you ask for stuff!" Then he said a black man comes in his truck & sees all these people in a great parking space & asks them to move so he can have the spot & they all tell him to have some compassion that she doesn't know where her daddy is & the black guy says, "Neither do I so move it!" LOL He said they pulled around in the truck & his sister was already crying & she rushes to her daughter & thanks everyone for finding her...and then when they get into the car & out of the parking lot his sister turns around & yells while pointing, "DON'T YOU EVER ASK FOR STUFF AGAIN ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY GETTING $100 WORTH OF STUFF!" I laughed so hard cause that is so how it is LOL! When Ben doesn't want to go somewhere & he just stands there I say, "Fine we will go without you!" We have gone as far as the car & he comes running out like he thinks we will leave him. I would NEVER leave him, but that threat always seems to work LOL. Sad but true. Vincent was mentioning that parents can't hit their kids so they have to work with the kids minds mentally. Then that is when he shared the Toys R Us story haha!

Damon Wayans Jr.~

He joked about how his daughter has this extremely deep voice. It was so funny! And he shared a few things with her voice.

The joke I loved the best was he said that there are gangs in CA & the members still go to Disneyland. He said that they are even mad at Disneyland. He can't believe that anyone can be angry at Disneyland, but they are. He said that there was this one guy that kept moving his lips and saying, "I am going to GET you!" And doing the sign for cutting his head off...then he said the guy confronted him & was all, "Why is your daughter wearing RED?" And he said, "It's just a Minnie Mouse dress...Minnie Mouse wears red...it's not a gang symbol!" And then he said his daughter said, "(deep voice)daddydaddy daddy why is he mad at us? huh? daddydaddy?" And he said the guy was like, "Whoa your daughter talks like that? Why does she talk like that??" And he told him that's just her voice & he said they left. Well he said that he saw this guy all over the park that day...they couldn't get away from him. He said they even saw him on the teacups LOL! He moved his body like he was on the tea cups ride & I laughed my head off! He said the guy was on the ride in another cup & his daughter was like, "(deep voice)daddydaddy that man is still watching us! What are we going to do? daddydaddy?"

He also talked about how his dad is really famous & rich, but that he doesn't give him any money. He said he makes him work for it. He said that they will go to the club & his dad won't let him call him dad. He said this girl wanted to meet his dad & he comes over & introduces him as dad & his dad pulls him aside & says, "Why are you hatin'?" And he says, "I'm not hatin' what are you talking about?" And he said his dad says, "Don't call me dad!" He says, "What do you want me to call you?" his dad says, "Call me D!" he says, "ok D.......like people can't see the white hairs in your beard D!" LOL

There was dirty comedy, but for the most part a lot of fun. I am glad we went. I haven't laughed like that in a long time! There was another guy that performed, but I can't remember his name or what he said LOL. I know sad! I know he said the F bomb a lot. They all swear so that sucks. There was no smoking either! THAT was nice!