I Haven't Posted In A While....

Because I am wore out! Our 2nd day in Seattle I got feverish (like REALLY hot...) and by the 2nd day my throat hurt! I had sores on my throat and I had a hard time swallowing. The road trip home was me in & out of sleep...I don't think I was awake more than an hour the whole 9 hour trip home...poor Chris! The next day was Sunday and I still felt HORRIBLE! I told my boss that I wouldn't be able to start work on Monday like I had planned...I told her I had strep (because I had all the symptoms!) She was cool with that and told me that taking care of me was more important than work. She is so understanding! So we don't have a family doctor and I didn't know where to go or what to do to get the stuff I needed for strep throat...so by 3 PM Chris got his dentist, Dr Payne, to prescribe me ammoxicillin and I started taking it by 5 PM that night. The next day I felt only a little better, but still sore throat. I stayed home until Wednesday and decided I felt better for work on Thursday. I took the kids to daycare on Wednesday because I didn't want them to be charged for a sick day and it was nice having them close just in case the baby needed me. Then I took the kids to Emmaline's Dr Appt and the dr said she is looking good and to do more tummy time and not a lot of swing time. :o( I really like the swing...she likes to nap in it ;o). I went to work a full day on Thursday and we are starting earlier so that I can take an hour break to pump. My co-worker suggested I wait every day until noon and pump once a day (possibly at night too...) and I won't feel like I am pumping for twins. So far it's been going great. And my work put up blinds on a conference room. Friday I felt a bit weak, but got through the day. I have so much to catch up on it's overwhelming. (mainly phone calls). This weekend my right foot started to really ache and my back in my bra area and my lower back had cramps & aches so badly!! Sunday my ankle really started to bug me & hurt. I can barely walk! It's Monday and I went to work with my swollen ankle and I feel so wore out! As I was driving to work about 10 min in on Karcher Rd I got really light headed and I thought...whoa maybe I should pull over! I made it to work safely. My boss kept saying that I looked pale and sallow. Even Reed, the owner of the company, said that I should take some time off and take care of myself, that I didn't look so good. I set up a doctor appt for Wednesday (they said 3 weeks, and I told them I had had strep that I didn't get treated and now my muscles hurt...she found an appt this week.) The dr is in Nampa and I hope he can help me! I am so worried with how I am feeling and hoping I didn't have Rheumatic Fever because it can cause heart problems and for me that can't be good. My grandmother died at age 33 and I turn 33 next month! She died of heart disease and some medication that she was taking for it. I would hate to leave my children at their young ages! My mom was 3 when her mom died and I have always felt for her! Amelia is 3 going to be 4 next month. I know I shouldn't think about death, but it could always happen to any of us! What I want to say is I love my family & my children so very much! I love Chris too and he has been SO helpful to me this past week! He is always helpful when I need him! I was thinking if something happened to me I am sure he would find someone really nice and good for the kids! I need to get to bed, but I need my children and husband to know that I love them SO MUCH! I want them to love God and to know that Jesus died for us so we can live again! He watches over us always and He knows what we need and what will make us stronger! I pray I can get over this and become stronger! Because right now I feel like crap! :'o(