Kids Learn So Much From Us

At work and even talking with our daycare person I have noticed that kids really pick up the things we do. At work we were discussing a co-worker's sister-in-law that has 2 kids that lives with her parents (no not mine...) and the co-worker also lives with the parents. She complains about how the mom doesn't do anything to help out around the house and won't get a job or go to school. We started talking about what that is teaching her kids. Teaching them that you don't have to work to survive.

Some of the things I am learning about my kids are as follows:

Benjamin is 5 and he should be wiping his own bum. (So used to doing it for him!!)

The kids are old enough to put their clothes and shoes on themselves.

Benjamin buckles his own seat belt when the daycare goes to the library (we have always done it for him didn't think he could do it himself!)

Amelia will scream when something doesn't go her way (TOTALLY hereditary not sure where she learned it from, but I know for a fact that when I was little I was a screamer.) The Daycare provider offered me something to say in that situation, "Use your words please..." And then she offers things Amelia can say like, "Please don't touch me I don't like it..." "Can I have my toy back please?" "When you do that it hurts my feelings..." Things like that. I really like that and I think I will use it.

I am also learning to say "Yes" instead of "What" when the kids want my attention. Since I have been doing that I hear Chris say "what" and it kind of drives me nuts LOL.

Usually when I am upset I will say "I am angry/frustrated right now." And our kids will do that when they are angry or frustrated. I kind of like that, because the kids are using their words and not acting out like some kids do. (Not saying my kids never act up haha! But I like when they do use their words).

A lot of the words and sayings Amelia will say I wonder were she gets it from and then I realize...ohhhhhhh it's me! haha I say things like, "Sooooooooo what are we doing?" And Chris & I both say, "Are you coming or no?" We end a lot of things with "or no?" Amelia has started saying that. I will never forget the time I yelled out, "CRAP!" And Benjamin was just 2 1/2 and he started saying, "Crap Mommy Crap!" My thought was...oh great now people will know who taught him THAT word! haha. I try not to say it so much anymore and I don't notice the kids saying it...I also let them know it's not a nice word to say. I never thought that word was bad until I heard it coming out of my kid's mouth!

I need to break Amelia from getting up at 3 AM to come sleep in our bed because she's "Scared". I used to do that when I was little and I used to run through our big 2 story house to go to my parents room right below my room (so I ran the whole house) and my mom finally broke me of it when she got up to stop me and I saw a big shadow coming towards me one night and it FREAKED ME OUT! It ended up being my mom and that was good, but I didn't want that to happen again! So I stayed in bed. I won't use that method, but I have had talks with Amelia and let her know that we need to snuggle before she goes to bed, but that I don't want her coming to my bed at night anymore. I let her know that when we have the baby she won't be able to be in our bed.

From my parents I learned that you have to work if you want things. I think that is why I have always worked (both my parent's worked outside the home). And I grew up working.

Doing chores, helping my parents fix up an old house, working in my dad's shop, landscaping when in high school, cleaning apartments/pools, etc. Then when I graduated high school my dad told me that I either needed to go to school or get a job. I was tired of school so I chose to get a job. I remember being SO NERVOUS! Elwon's friend came to dinner (which hadn't happened in such a long time!) and she told me about Pitney Bowes, and I knew I didn't want fast food. I always told myself NO FAST FOOD! (not that it's bad because people LOVE fast food, but I didn't want to work in that environment).

I applied for Pitney Bowes and had to sign up with a temp agency and I got right on doing data entry. 7 months into the job the bosses came to our group and said if we wanted to keep the job we would have to get on the phones. I was nervous, but I liked it there so I took a chance on it. I worked there for 5 years! It was such a GREAT company to work for...boot camp of all call centers! They were VERY strict on what we say and don't say on the phone. They trained us SO MUCH! Looking back that job really got me prepared for my future jobs. The data entry was the link that got me into my 2nd job at HyClone.

I applied at a temp agency in UT and I heard HyClone was the best so I told them I just wanted HyClone. It took a month and I was getting frustrated (even though I didn't try hard to find a job...just had a couple of interviews with places) and I got a phone call from the temp agency and they asked if I wanted to do data entry at HyClone...I said, "YES!" I started out as data entry and it all went into counting inventory, working on the shipping line, helping the shipping coordinator (to eventually becoming the shipping coordinator), driving every kind of fork lift possible, working with truckers, coordinating trucks to pick up, box making, internal customer service and so much more! The major thing I learned at HyClone was God knows where we need to be and if we don't get promoted or get "that perfect job" there will be others out there. The reason I learned this was because I had applied for 5 jobs within a years time (trying to get out of the warehouse where people feel under appreciated) and I got passed up each time for someone with a bit more experience than I had. I got pretty frustrated. Well the last year I was at HyClone another company took us over and did layoffs. Guess who they laid off. ALL 5 JOBS I APPLIED FOR! That right there was testimony to me that God knew I needed the job I had and he knew that if I was in one of those positions that I would have been let go. I worked at HyClone 5 years.

When we moved to Boise I was a Stay-At-Home mom and let me tell you it was THE HARDEST JOB I HAVE EVER DONE! When you move to a new area and you don't know anyone you can get a bit stir crazy! At least I did. I also realized that I could no longer have the soda Orangette (Walmarts Orange Soda) in our house. I would drink a 2 liter in one day and the next day I didn't have it I would be mean & crazy! I got heavily online and meeting friends that way. Gather & the Virtual MTV was the sites I went on most and it was harmless...sort of. I found myself getting into it more & more and it ended up seeming like real life! I had met people on VMTV where they "hired" me as "Momma hen" to watch over the people and break up fights and things...I was a celebrity there and I LOVED it! Then something happened and I offended someone and got kicked off the team...so FIRED. I have never been fired from something before! I actually cried! That right there told me that I was going a bit too far with the online games. To be emotional about it was crazy right?!? I had someone contact me that paid me $50 and she was doing a research project for her college thesis on Virtual games and advertising etc. It was amazing to talk it through with her and let her know how much people can get caught up in something like that.

January 2008 Chris came to me and told me that the temp agency he was working for had a data entry job and it was for a month. I thought...well I could do that! I signed up for the temp agency and they accepted me for the position helping the college do data entry. And I had also sent a friend my resume to give to her boss at Impact Directories and I thought it would be cool to help there. I really didn't think much of the Impact one and kind of forgot about it. 2 weeks before I was to start the temp job at the school I get a phone call from Impact Directories asking if I wanted to temp for them for a few weeks. I let them know I could. On my 1st day I let them know that I had another job that was starting and so I was going to go do that and I let them know what I was going to be making there and so they paid me the same...I started out by calling people on the phone to see if they got our phone books and what kind of condition they were in. Then I heard word of the receptionist job coming open. I got this prompting that I should go for it. I walked into the boss and let him know I wanted that job. There was another temp that wanted the job also. I ended up making friends with the other front desk person and she chose me over the other girl. I got the job! 2 weeks after I got the job Chris was let go from Domino's! I remember exactly how and when it happened! It was 2 weeks after I started at Impact and I had taken the kids to the park that night after work. Chris was supposed to be at work that night. All of a sudden I see him walking towards us! He would have only been at work like 15 minutes...he said to me, "I just got fired!" And I felt at peace. I wasn't angry at him I wasn't worried about what we would do. I knew that the job I was prompted to get was because God knew this moment would happen! As the receptionist I had so many sales reps offer for me to be their assistants...I didn't think I would like that position and I didn't want to make $4 less at that job then the one I was at until the 2nd top sales rep approached me to be his assistant. I accepted that job and made about the same as I made at the front desk, but when the leads ran out I was making $4 less than I was used to. I was worried! I was supporting my family and couldn't on that rate. So I went to the boss and told him I wanted the Listings Manager job and I didn't hear back for a week and then another boss came to me and he asked if I wanted to work in AR (Accounts Receivable). Chris had applied for that job and the boss over it made it sound very difficult. So when I was offered that job I said, "I didn't apply for that job..." And he said, "Do you want it or not?" and I said, "YES!" They offered me $2 more than I had made at the front desk and I said that would be great. I LOVE ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE! My department also found out that I could drive a forklift because one day the distribution manager wasn't in and they called him and he said, "Have Birdeena drive the forklift..." Their jaws DROPPED! As I was unloading they got a picture of me on the lift with their cell phone haha! My boss said to me, "I didn't see that on your resume..." And I said, "I didn't think it would apply to this position haha!" I really loved that moment ;o)

I just want to say that all of the jobs I have had have given me great experience and has led me into better jobs. I feel like I have been handed jobs my whole life, but I know why! When I was 16 my patriarchal blessing said that I needed to get an education and a CAREER to support my companion and family. I always thought...what companion boys don't like me...and what is going to happen to my husband is he going to be hurt? Nope he is going to be effected by the economy! People hire women these days and men are shoved to the side a lot of times. Another thing to remember though is you start from the bottom and work your way up. Don't expect to start at the top. People need to get to know your working ethic before they will move you up. And as a temp you don't say dumb things to the people that work there perminently... Something I want to teach my kids is that school is important, but if they go they need to get a job in that field they want to work in. I will tell them to do internships and get good grades. I need to learn I shouldn't do their work for them though haha! That was kind of what happened with me...my parents always helped me with my homework and even sometimes did it for me and I would cheat in school. Not totally blaming my parents, but I always was bored or wanted others to do the work for me. That's something I need to work on...I see patterns in Benjamin's attitude about when we try to teach him that I used to have..."I don't want to know...I don't know my letters!" Frustrates the heck out of me because I don't know what to do with him. I worry about him. I want him to succeed and I feel like I am babying him. Like I am not allowing him to grow up the way he needs to! Wow that just made me cry!

Again I am thankful for my parents for teaching me the importance of work and for kicking me out of the house haha! My dad made me pay rent and I realized that I could afford my own apartment (with a roommate of course). It was such a great time in my life!!

I feel like I am a better mom now that I work. I come home and can love my kids and let them know I love them. When I was home all day I felt my habits and yelling would damage my kids. I feel like I am a good/normal mom, but I know I am not a Stay-At-Home momma. I am so glad for Christine who watches our kids and teaches them! They have learned SO MUCH! She teaches them manners too and in turn they teach me ;o). Anyway I am going to end this...I don't expect people to read it, but I wanted to get it down because I know some day it will mean something to someone ;o).