Divorce Is So Sad

Watch this awesome video about divorce it was put out by the church & I found it amazing & inspiring. My friend Sara shared it on her blog and told me about it when we talked the other day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ1yLFIEVNo


Here are some of the things I have been thinking about the past few weeks:

What I see by being on Facebook is everyone is the same. Those that are on the most are trying to connect with their past because they miss the life they once had. They want to connect to their friends and family by, getting comments & messages. People are the SAME. We all want the same things. A home, vacation, children, be close to our families, recognition for the things we do...etc. I know I am on Facebook too much and it's so hard because I miss everyone. I miss being with my family & my friends. Because I am stuck at home so much I can't just pick up and go all of the time like I would like. That is how I am selfish. I need to retrain myself and not get on as much. I have been working on it a little bit...I actually read through, "The Host." I deep cleaned the house (which feels AWESOME!) And now all I have to do is laundry & dishes...ugh! ;o)

We need to be chill when it comes to other people. Love them no matter what. We don't know what is really going on in their lives! I feel that in this life if they are choosing to do what we may not feel is right, that it is their trial & struggle. It's up to them and God. "Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see." (Hymn 220 Lord, I Would Follow Thee) When people are mean it's because they are depressed and hate themselves. Self Esteem is HUGE! Remember to think of others and to serve. I miss doing that! I miss serving others! I am hoping I can get back into doing things in the community like I used to before I was married. (I was able to help at the DI today hanging clothes that have come in...so fun!)

Lately my thoughts have been on divorce. Not from my husband, but seeing other family members struggle thinking that divorce would be what is best. My friend Sara & I commented at how it seems like so many people are getting divorced it's scary & sad...Satan is REALLY working on the family right now!! I even talked to my brother that same day about how hard marriage is. The #1 thing my brother & I came up with is people are selfish. I have to admit I can see when I am being selfish & how things get tense. I also recognized that when Chris & I haven't gone on a date that we are at each other's throats & nit picky about EVERYTHING! One thing Chris told me when we got married is he didn't like nagging....I don't think I nag, but I know before I do nag about something I think 1st because I know if I nag I won't get a response.

What is with marriage after 8 years? Is the 8-10 year mark the hardest? Do people feel trapped and have a mid-life crisis? Raising my children and even seeing my husband with his parents I am realizing we are like our parents. How they react to things, wanting so much to impress them, and what the goals are.

Another thought I had is...what is with UT Mormons (People that have been born, raised and are still living there)? Most are on anxiety pills. Their stress levels are off the charts! Always trying to impress and to be "perfect." I know from working there so many of my co-workers were sharing their prescriptions and had major anxiety. I did the same job they did & I didn't get all worked up about it. It didn't drive me to smoke or get on pills. And how do we help others realize that material happiness is NOT what makes US happy.

An additional thought was...How can the government make it easier for the military husbands & wives stay faithful to each other? Look at the # of military couples that have cheated on one another. It's really sad. I wish there were more support groups for them!!

HAVE THERE BEEN HARD TIMES IN YOUR MARRIAGES AND HOW HAVE YOU OVERCOME THEM?

**Ok as I was putting the kids to bed last night I went to my room to look at the books I have and that I want to read next. I came across my manual for "Achieving a Celestial Marriage" handbook! So I flipped through a few things and came across the divorce chapter!! Wow it is so upfront & direct it's crazy! Here are the titles under that chapter:

Marriage will require adjustments
Temple marriage does not guarantee that life will be without problems
Some conflict may be expected in marriage
The first year of marriage can be a period of great adjustment
Family strife is the result of yielding to the spirit of Satan
The "sharing if the heart" brings conflict to marriage partners (talking about sharing with someone other than your spouse)
The lack of communication within a family can lead to discord
An unbridled tongue magnifies contention and conflict
Marriage vows must not be set aside capriciously
A married couple should seek at all cost to preserve their union
Divorce will no permanently solve the fundamental problems of marital conflict
Most divorces are the product of selfishness
Physical attraction for another can never justify divorce
Divorce is not a part of the Gospel plan
Seek to improve rather than to divorce your spouse
The family is a problem-solving unit
A spirit of sacrifice will make adjustments within marriage natural and easy
Spiritual sensitivity will increase our ability to solve problems
Repentance must often precede conciliation
A Spirit of mutual forgiveness can greatly reduce discord
Perspective and communication solve most marital problems
Humility is vital to problem solving within marriage


Wow that's quite a list. I think the #1 thing is to communicate and to sacrifice to make things work. I have to admit I have felt trapped these last couple of years, but I know that it's because I miss my family and I miss being able to travel, but I am sacrificing because I love Chris & the kids and I would never just leave like that. My stress management class I took in college really helped me for my future. Not that I haven't gotten stressed, but I know certain tools that have helped Chris & I not fight. I always warn him that we will need to discuss something and I let him know what time to meet to talk it over. Then when we meet we both can be prepared for what we want to say. Then there isn't a complete attack on one or the other person. WORKS wonders! ;o)

And my thoughts that I have been having are not because of one family member there is another and so I don't want them thinking I am talking about them. It is all around us.